I have attempted Week 5 at least 3, no wait, 4 times now. Each time, I wus out on W5D3 because it requires you to run 20 minutes straight, something I have never done.
Instead of me getting psyched up to push myself and test my boundaries, I get scared. Scared of hurting my shins again…scared of NOT making the full 20 minutes and feeling like a failure. The longest I’ve ever run straight was probably 13 minutes when I ran that 5k in May. So instead of getting out there and running, I lay in bed and think I should get up and go already, but in reality? I lay there and think about it more than I put an effort to doing it. I ran Week 5 Days 1 and 2 again 2 weeks ago when we had guests over. My last run was 2 Fridays ago. That’s right, no runs (or any form of exercise) at all last week. I don’t know if it’s because my body just wanted to rest after hosting guests, but I think it had more to do w/the heat and being scared.
So, I haven’t lost any weight, in fact, I think I gained a few pounds (especially not doing anything last week). I should be at my ideal body, or close to it by now, IF I just stuck to working out and eating better. Why, oh why do I always fall off the darn wagon??? At least I haven’t gained too much weight back. I am going to try this darn 20 minute run this week. Although, I may need to start Week 5 all over again so as to not shock my body/legs, but by golly, I will try the 20 minutes straight. I mean, what is my problem??? If my shins start to hurt, then fine, I’ll slow down or start walking it. I just need to move!
I keep thinking back to that 5k in May and feeling so accomplished…totally opposite of what I’ve been feeling lately. I need to get on it and just do it. I need a boost in confidence…a better, more fit, body so I can feel confident. I’m not trying to be a size 2 again, I’m not. I just want to feel healthy and not so flabby and floppy and sloppy and blah.
I will do the 20 minutes this week (holiday week and all…weekend getaway and all). I will do it. This is my weekly challenge. I have too many cute summer clothes I want to wear and if I’m looking and feeling flabby, no amount of cuteness is going to do anything to make me feel good or look good.