Posting from the Park

Been so crazy busy w/work (and other stuff) lately that I can’t even just add picture links to the posts in draft mode….like the finale to my Mother’s Day Surprise.  I’m glad I wrote that draft when I had a bit more time because it’s a wordy one, y’all…anyway, seems like my only “free” time to post (via phone) is now – while “watching” Beans at pre-ball practice.  I guess, technically, I’m still not “free”.

Being busy has definitely worn me out. I ran all of once in 2wks, but I can’t even call it that.  I woke up late Monday and was just able to get on the ‘mill for all of 15mins…still on week5 in couch to 5k.  I think I gave mysef an anxiety attack about running 20 mins straight for week 5 day 3 that I just stalled myself…grrr…get a grip, Steph!

I really, really need to step up this workout thing.  My midesction is still looking like I’m 7months+ pregnant, but I popped my last baby a year and 8 months ago.

Being busy has also messed up my wannabe fashionista comeback.  I’m back to jeans/shorts and a tee and sneakers (bc my toesies are in desperate need of a pedi!).  Such a shame bc I’m loving some of my new purchases that finally came – jewelry and new jeans, etc.  I did have a non-tee outfit last week, but of course, we were rushing off somewhere and hen we got home, it was back to work for me….

Hopefully things will let up soon…I’ve got some crazy big news up my sleeve 😉

5k Tomorrow…Doesn’t Look Good

Shins are KILLING me! Jogged .2 miles today in pain. What the???? How am I supposed to “run” this 5k tomorrow?

I did W4D3 on Tuesday from the Couch to 5k Running plan. My shins were hurting so I took it easy and just did the bike yesterday and today. This morning, I walked Beans to school and tried to jog back home…I jogged a few steps and was already in pain. Tried to walk it off and then jogged the last .2 miles and I am STILL hurting! I hope icing it down will help. I think I’ll try switching cold / hot compresses. That usually helps with other bruises/bumps/sprains, right?

Still, tomorrow is going suck. I wasn’t going to try to run my heart out, but I wanted to at least get a good baseline. I don’t think I’ll even get that 😦 I have a feeling I’ll be walking more than “running” tomorrow 😦 How frustrating when I’ve been so looking forward to it ever since I signed up 2 weeks ago.

Jealousy, You Are One UGLY B!T(H

I’m not one for cursing, please excuse the title, but hot damn…jealousy is ugly, isn’t it? Especially towards those you love.

I’ve been hitting the gym since February. That’s about 3 months now. I know I haven’t pushed as hard and I know I haven’t watched my food in take as much as I should have. I shouldn’t be surprised that the scale doesn’t move much. In fact, I wasn’t even going into this whole thing with a weight loss goal (until recently). I just wanted to get moving, feel better, get the blood flowing and not be so sedentary. And, I’ve been doing just that and I do feel better when I hit the gym. I have just started to push harder this week (and the scale moved down today!).

BUT, pDaddy just started going to the gym a couple of weeks ago. That would be 2, maybe 3, weeks ago. As of Tuesday night, he was so right in praising himself for seeing some results and losing 8lbs. He lost 8lbs in 2-3 weeks. I lost 8.5lb just as of today…3 months later. 12 weeks later.

At first, I was proud of him and did the usual “You suck! I can’t believe it!” because that’s how it’s always been. He would just be able to get the weight off quicker when we got into our “we need to get in shape” modes. But as the night went on and we were chatting over dinner, he mentioned it again. And, here’s where it gets ugly, I cut him off and got my angry voice on and told him to stop rubbing it in (more than once)! It went something like this:

HIM: I can’t believe I’m at this weight now. That’s 8lbs and I don’t even go to the gym a lot.
ME: Do you have to rub it in? (starting to sound sarcastic)
HIM: I didn’t really change my eating much either.
ME: Yes you did, you only had a veggie burger today and salad yesterday.
HIM: Yeah, but still…that’s pretty awesome, right?
ME: Seriously, rub it in some more. Do you have to keep rubbing it in?
etc…

I didn’t yell, but my tone definitely changed and I sounded really mad at him…He just looked at me dumbfounded and then collected his thoughts and said he wasn’t trying to rub it in…it wasn’t something against me or to make me feel bad. I, finally, get it together and apologize. I OPENLY admit that I’m not mad, just jealous…I mean, I was seriously jealous…like I felt myself turning green with envy.

I think that took him for a loop because I’m not really the jealous type – ESPECIALLY when it comes to other women / girls and such. Ask him, it used to bother him when we first started dating and didn’t act like crazy, jealous girl b/c some girl was looking at our direction / looking at him…or that I didn’t acknowledge it (even if I did notice it).

Anyway, I continue to apologize and say that I’m just jealous and that I wasn’t mad at him. We continue on through the night and all is well. Still, I can’t help, but feel bad. So, during one of our email exchanges yesterday, I apologized again:

…I’m really sorry about last night. I wasn’t mad at you. I was just, seriously and ashamedly(is that a word?), jealous. I wish I could lose as quickly as you, but my body’s just not built to be like that anymore. I know I’m not that college freshman that kept losing weight no matter how much and how many times I ate! I’m not that 20something that would go to the gym to just “tone” up b/c I had no real weight to lose. I just get frustrated sometimes and took it out on you. Sorry…  They’re not kidding when they say jealousy is ugly, huh? Sorry for being selfish there. Instead of me praising you and being supportive, like I usually would, jealousy reared its ugly head  But honestly, was not mad you. Keep doing what you’re doing. It actually gives me hope when I see your transformations.

He writes back and says:

Oh, no worries…nagulat lang ako konte (translation: I was just a little surprised) but I hear your frustration. Sorry too for I was praising myself (as usual), hehe…but not appropriate when you’re trying to lose and I end up being the one that loses the weight. Don’t worry, you’ll get there eventually – who’s rushing anyways  . I just feel bad that you have to work harder than I do …but whatever your goal is – just know you’re fine just the way you are 

And what happened? I felt worse for being such a jealous biatch and teared.

Lesson Learned? Get over thyself and stop the damn pity party. Be thankful for supportive spouses…especially when they have to deal with your crazeeee.

About that “Running”

--from coolrunnings.comI feel like I’m stuck. I’m following the Cool Runnings Couch to 5k plan and have finally moved onto Week 3, but may be going on too fast a pace b/c I don’t think I can run and talk at the same time. I’m out of breath as it is. I was on Day 2 yesterday and couldn’t finish the last 3 miniute jog. My legs got real heavy and my shins started to hurt 😦 Looks like I will be staying on week 3 for awhile, it seems, but I guess that’s ok. I don’t like moving to the next week until I’m really comfy in the week I’m in. I was on Week 2 for 3 weeks. I just feel like I’m never going to be able to run 30 or 45 minutes straight or the whole 5k straight. I wanted to see if I could sign up for a 5k on May 5th, but I don’t think I’d be ready for it 😦

I’m new-ish to all this running (I attempted all this 3 years ago and didn’t get past week 2). Anyway, I’m wondering if shoes can cause my shins to hurt? I love my Lunaracers, but they do feel too snug (or are they supposed to be?) on my semi-wide feet.

If anyone out there has any tips or techniques for this newbie runner, greatly appreciated! I feel like I want to go at a faster pace so I can get better time, but I guess I’m supposed to be able to run and talk at the same time (from what I’ve read). Just don’t want to get bored of it all 😦

Also, what other exercises should I do? Any other cardio? I’m doing a little strength training, but I just started this week and focused mostly on my arms (since I feel like my legs are getting a workout from the walk/runs) and also a little on my hips and back.

I want to be able to run and get “shredded” and be fit and be healthy, but I’m starting to get bored and frustrated…

/end of newbie runner rant

PS – thank you to Eastbay for the quick exchange! The whole return/exchange process (the ones I originally ordered were too small) was completed in 1 week! I guess it helps that we are both in the midwest, but THANK YOU! Great customer service too!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! NEW YOU! NEW ME!

OK, I’m back and I hope to be back for more than just a post here and there. It’s been crazy around my neck of the woods…First of all, we moved from NJ to Illinois! After 27 years on the fast-paced East Coast, we are now in the Heartland…the Land of Lincoln. I’ll get into more details in the future, I hope, but I just wanted to drop in and dust off some cobwebs first.

It’s a NEW YEAR and, like everyone else it seems, it’s a new year for a new me. Not only am I talking in a weight-loss sense, but just being more put together. On that note, here are my resolutions this year:

1 – Be more patient…especially w/my 3 daughters.

2 – Follow through w/skincare routine – I’m amazed at how often I have gone w/o washing my face at night / morning. My HUGE pores are a testament to that.

3 – Take care of myself more / be more “put together” before heading out – I work from home so it’s easy for me to stay in PJs all day. If I have to run out to pick up the big girl or to run a quick errand, I usually just throw on a sweatshirt and, depending on the season, wear my boots, sneakers or flip-flops. I need to take the time to put on a little make-up – even just eyeliner, mascara & lip whatever makes a difference! I need to put an outfit together and look put together. I need to do this, it actually makes me feel good when I look good (well, not to sound conceited, but you know…not like I just rolled out of bed kind of thing).

In 2011, I discovered youtube sensation Michelle Phan and OMG…she has inspired to put on my best face…or any face except the one that is drab. I know, she’s been around, but hey, I don’t know why I never took advantage of all the web had to offer (tutorials and such). I found her when searching youtube on how to do a “smokey eye“.

I also discovered some style bloggers and my fave is Tanesha. She is just amazing! This girl can put together any outfit AND isn’t a stick… The girl has curves and she loves them! She puts classic pieces together w/the latest trends and can mix and match high-end designers w/some affordable brands too! Besides all that, I think she loves peep-toe heels as much as I do! Enough exclamation points there?

Her fame has blown up in 2011 and she has her own billboard out in Times Square, but you know what? She STILL takes time to reply to the “little people” via her blog and/twitter! She just gained even more respect by doing that.

4 – Exercise at least 2-3x / wk for at least half an hour at a time. I need to get this “baby weight” off already! Shrimp was born in September of 2010. I weighed the most while pregnant with her and actually got stretch marks that I never got w/the other 2. She was a big baby, born at 9lbs 12.3oz so yeah, I was house while pregnant w/her. I cannot count the amount of times people would ask me if I had twins in there. In 2011, I lost weight and I gained some back. I cannot seem to keep the weight off, but I know what I need to do. I need to exercise more, practice healthier eating and portion control. I need to do all that and keep at it. I have been on and off w/twitter and blogging, but I’m trying to come back. I used to keep tabs on Zoot & Laura, but again, have been off the blogosphere. Well, I’m going to follow misszoot and laura closely since they are motivating me to get out there and move!

5 – Eat healthier and give up soda. Goes w/the exercise and weight loss. What I want is to gain a sense of pride, confidence, self esteem. I think all of that can be achieved once I get to a healthier me. I looked at myself in the mirror and almost don’t know who that girl is.

6 – Be more confident in myself, life and work. Again, this ties in w/exercise and weight loss for gaining confidence in myself. I need to also be more confident in my decisions in life as a woman, a wife and a mother. Sometimes, I find myself questioning things when I know I shouldn’t. I need to be more confident at work as well. Working from home for the past 6 years has taken it’s toll on me. I used to be aggressive, a “go-getter”, “on the ball”, etc. I don’t find myself there anymore. It’s hard when you are not surrounded by your peers and can’t lean on each other for things. However, I know what I know and shouldn’t question that. I do need to work on knowing more.

7- Focus more and not get easily distracted. With everything going on around me, this is going to be challenging. I work from home…I also take care of the 4 year old and 15 1/2 month old. I also have mommy-duties and chores and then wanting to do so much w/such little time. I have found myself, on more than one occassion, starting something and then going to do something else…like this blog entry. I started this, but then go back and forth between my girls and work. But, hey…that’s life. Life Happens. I just need to make sure I don’t get distracted w/menial things.

8 – Blog again…this poor home of mine on the interwebs has been left “undone” too long…

9 – Pay off my credit cards. I make this sound worse than it really is. I am actually at a decent place in my life when it comes to credit card debt. The crazy, college shopper has learned her lesson. I just don’t like having ANY balances on my cards, but know that, in order to build and get better credit, you need to use the cards and show that you can pay them off. There was actually a couple of years where I didn’t have anything on my cards and a couple of the lenders actually closed them due to inactivity! I had no idea they could that 😦

10 – Pray more…I may not be all that religious (No, I don’t go to Mass every Sunday), but I still have my faith…I just need to get in touch w/that side more. I actually found a Bible at TJMaxx the other day. I think I may go back for it, though I think I want the one that has explanations in it…kind of like “Cliffs Notes” or something.

11 – Take more pictures! I have TOTALLY slacked in this area. pDaddy has gotten into photography more than I have in the past few years so I’ve become dependent on him to take the photos. I need to do this more though…especially since I’m the one home w/the girls more. He can play w/his 5D and I’ll take the good ol’ Rebel…If you know of any photo sites or weekly photo challenges, please let me know.

12 – Let go of the past…no holding grudges even after forgiving. For me, it’s always been easy to forgive, but I have a hard time forgetting.

Well, I think that’s it. What do you want to accomplish in 2012? Are you out there? If you are, HELLO! Welcome aboard or Welcome back 🙂 Do share your goals in the comments, please 🙂

Hope that you and yours had a fantabulous holiday season!

Feeling Defeated…

We’ve been getting a lot of rain these past few weeks here in the Northeast. Today, is one of those crazy, rainy days where the wind seems to be blowing the rain sideways. When all this rain comes down so fast and heavy, our unfinished basement gets flooded.

Over the weekend, my dad helped us clear some old rugs that got drenched and clear out our basement so we can get rid of our accumulated junk over the past 4+ some years. He also is helping us w/finishing the basement now INCLUDING installing a sump pump.

That sump pump got tested today and FAILED.

I am so frustrated! I was feeling so defeated earlier that I actually started to cry!

You see, they even started to put walls up already. We already started trying to figure out what we were putting where. We were going to set up my office down there and the girls’ play room so our poor dining room won’t look like the catch-all room anymore. We were trying to figure out where to put the TV and some chairs/couches. We’ve been sorting and throwing and decluttering to prep for our new and improved basement! We’ve still outgrown this house and don’t think another baby will be easy to fit in here, but at least the basement will give us some new space to use.

Then, this…this is what happened today (excuse the quality…that’s from my cellphone):
Grrr...rain
That pic is not even the worst of it…It’s not like we got a foot of water or anything, but about a half an inch to an inch. It’s enough to do damage to whatever’s on the floor…some clothes in boxes, some books, etc…

I don’t understand why the sump pump didn’t work. Who am I kidding? I don’t know how that thing is supposed to work in the first place, just that it’s supposed to. I don’t know, but I hope adding tiles will solve the issue. It looks like there might be a hole or something that the old owners cemented, but now spits out water when it rains hard. Maybe covering it up w/cement/tiles will work? I don’t know, I just feel like we were winning, winning, winning and lost the game at the last minute.

Snow, Snow Go Away…

Yup, it’s me, I’m back…well, for now 😉 I know, so much for my goal of blogging more often, huh? I’ll get back into the swing of things soon, I hope…

Anywho…If you’ve been watching the news, you know the East Coast/Mid-Atlantic Region has been getting MORE than their fair share of snow this season. Granted Maryland/Virginia have been getting it worse than we here in NJ, but we have our broken records here and there as well.

I usually love the snow…It gives such a nice ambiance of bright white to the usual cold and dead looking trees and such. It kind of breaks the bleakness of Winter. Plus, it gives us an excuse to play outside in the bitter cold. But, when a Blizzard is the cause for our airline to CANCEL our flight en route to the “Happiest Place on Earth” – I am more Grumpy (Dwarf) than I am Happy (Dwarf). We were supposed to leave this morning to head to Orlando/DisneyWorld, but yesterday’s blizzard caused airport delays and eventually, our flight got cancelled. We ended up cancelling our hotel and car rentals too. Thankfully, people understood and didn’t penalize us for cancelling our hotel/car reservations – though pDaddy was on the phone w/them for almost an hour making sure we didn’t get the penalty charge.

So now, instead of being at Disney enjoying the weather and watching the girls’ excitement, I’m working in cold, snow covered NJ.

At least the girls are still making the most of it here – even though they’re not in their Princess Dress Up attire and won’t be able to meet their favorite characters for a while longer…(we are hoping to rebook our vacation to next month. let’s hope no more storms or blizzards make their way toward our vacation days).